Thursday, June 19, 2008

Radar




Radar Article:

Camp Camp: Where Fantasy Island Meets Lord of the Flies (June 3, 2008) is the sequel to Bar Mitzvah Disco, picking up where that book left off, using hundreds of photographs and stories, including tall tales by A.J. Jacobs, David Wain, Rachel Sklar, Sloane Crosley, Paul Feig, and an intro by Meatballs director Ivan Reitman to tell the story of our generation via the great American institution of sleepaway camp—a parallel universe filled with bunk mates, unrequited crushes, appropriated Native American terminology, competitive sports, libido-soaked socials, panty raids, and snugly fitted velour shorts topped off with tube socks.

The book features the best of more than 80,000 photos submitted by former campers from across the country via campcampbook.com to trace the story of who we are and how we got to be this way. From the domination of Esprit as the Prada of the '80s, the subtle emergence of technology in the guise of Commodore personal computing, and the irresistible rise of hip-hop and the fall of "Frankie Says Relax," to the difficulties of maintaining the romance of a slow dance through the eight minutes, 57 seconds of "November Rain." Above all, camp culture was a juxtaposition of opposites—a cross between Fantasy Island and Lord of the Flies. That was nowhere more true than in the boys' bunk, which was both a Hai Karate testosterone-fueled primitive world of towel whipping and boner comparisons, and a place of radical inclusion and friendship. Violence and creativity played a special role, as highlighted in the chapter called "20 Acts of Violence That Say 'I Love You.'"

In the days before Judge Judy was a national TV star and America became an overly litigious society, the boys' bunk was like a peewee Abu Ghraib, where torture was standard behavior. This list of random acts of violence may make you wince, but it is important to note that many of the campers who were victims of everyday sadism actually loved it.

In the words of one, "To be on the wrong end of a rat tail or an atomic wedgie meant that the counselor noticed you—that in a perverse way, you had arrived." So remember that, dear reader, as you peruse the list. Settle back, relax, and marvel at the detail and creativity that went into some of these acts. The elaborate flourishes—especially the use of toothpaste or deodorant to maximize the pain—stand as a unique tribute to the innovative spirit that made this country great.

1. The Reverse Wedgie
A variation on the classic attack. Underpants are ripped upwards but the point of attack is from the front. Common act, multiple camps

2. Atomic Wedgie
You would pull up the waistband of the underpants until it rips and then place it over the victim's head like a chin strap. David Light, Camp Ramah in the Poconos, Lake Como, PA

3. Bungie Wedgie
Wedgie executed at the end of a bungee cord hung from the rafters of a boys' cabin. "Once hung by his tightie whiteys, a boy was then batted around the cabin by the other boys on the ground below him. Think Cirque du Soleil ... This hurt so much that we would pre-rip our underpants so that the whole ordeal did not last too long." David Greenbaum, Camp Chingachgook, Lake George, NY

4. Sky Hook Wedgie (aka The Hook of Death)
"Camper is left to hang by his white underpants on a nail until they tore in a kind of camp crucifixion." Jake Sussman, Camp Moosilauke, Orford, NH

5. The Atomic Sit-Up!"
This elaborate trick involved a mark and a con. The victim would be informed you have invented a new kind of sit-up that is so relaxing it makes you feel great. A towel would then be placed over the dupe's face. The fattest kid in the bunk would then be brought into the mix. He would take down his shorts and put his ass right above the dupe's face. The dupe would then be commanded to do a sit-up. If the fat kid was really talented, he could time it to cut a fart right when the dupe sat up. That was the atomic bit." Doug Grad, Tyler Hill Camp, Wayne, PA

6. Pink Billy (aka Hot Dog)
Hold a guy down. Slap his belly till it would go bright red. Shmear toothpaste on it for that extra sting. Doug Herzog, Camp Scatico, Elizaville, NY

7. The Swirly
Place a camper's head in the toilet and then flush it. Simmy Kunstawitz, Camp Ramah, Wingdale, NY

8. The Waffle Butt
A counselor takes a tennis racquet and whacks it against a kid's butt until it looks like a waffle. Repeat till bleeding. Spray Right Guard on bleeding wounds to maximize sting. Common act, multiple camps

9. Truck a Kid
Wait till victim is asleep. Shine a flashlight on either side of his head. Yell "TRUCK" to wake him. He would freak out, thinking he was in the middle of the highway. A variation was that someone would wear white sheets and talk to him in a deep voice and make him believe he was in the afterlife. Common act, multiple camps

10. The Gas Pedal
Camper's legs are pulled apart as counselor stamps on his crotch area while exclaiming, "Gas Pedal!" Anonymous, Camp Cedar, Casco, ME

11. Teabagging
Counselor dipping testicles in the open mouth of sleeping camper or at least resting them on the eye sockets. The homoeroticism never factored in for the person doing the dipping. Common act, multiple camps

12. Rat Tails
EverywhereWe had one counselor, Larry, who looked like Sergeant Slaughter. He wound his towel so tight and wet you had to put on an extra blanket to protect yourself. But you wanted him to hit you, show you that he cared about you ... he had noticed you. Alex Goodman, Camp Cedar, Casco, ME

13. Brown Round
Take hot rubbing sauce we used to buy in the mall (there was hot, extra hot, and WOW!—guess which we used?) and rub it on a kid's lips while he is sleeping. Brad Feldman, Camp Greylock, Becket, MA

14. The Bladder Burst
Place sleeping camper's hand in a bowl of warm water. Guaranteed to make you wet the bed. Common act, multiple camps

15. The Pile-On
Sleeping camper is woken by seven or more campers jumping on him, crushing him under cumulative weight. First camper on takes one for the team. Common act, multiple camps

16. Bollocksing
Sleeping camper is woken up by counselor jabbing lacrosse stick up his ass cheeks. Lacrosse stick inserted in "a loving way, though, not one of those high school hazing ways." Mitchell Whiteman, Lake Forest, Oakland, ME

17. Dead Arm
Knuckle punch to the meaty part of the arm muscle, which would turn the camper's arm into one inflated bruise by the end of the summer. Common act, multiple camps

18. Purple Nurple
A newfangled name for the old-fashioned titty twist. A variation was the Munching Cowbite, which became the Shark Bite after Jaws the movie came out—reaching into the inner thigh and squeezing hard. Michael Solomon, Camp Androscoggin, Wayne, ME

19. Punch for Punch (aka Chest Shot)
You would stand opposite each other an arm apart and punch each other in the chest repeatedly. I fought a counselor once and he destroyed me from the outset. My body was covered in bruises that were replicas of his fist. I could feel the internal bleeding. But I refused to give in, because this game was all about being a man. Adam Goldberg, Camp Echo Lark, Poyntelle, PA

20. Double Dump
We would take a dump and portion it out into two cups. One would be positioned under the bed and the other placed up in the rafters. Your bunk would stink. The victim would look under the bed, find one cup, and think they had solved the mystery. But the cup in the rafters would go on stinking for days. Andrew Goldberg, Camp Wildwood, Bridgton, ME

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